Tuesday, February 22, 2011

A blessing after experiencing loss

When we were waiting for the referral of Samson, we received the referral of another beautiful boy. I briefly wrote about this experience once but today I want to share what has transpired from this experience and  how this sweet boy continues to be part of our lives.

By far the most difficult part of our journey to Samson was discovering that the boy first referred to our family was not our son after all. We received the referral, we celebrated and claimed this beautiful child as our son. Then as the days went by, our instincts were telling us that we needed to let this child go, that he was meant for another family.

Breaking the news to our girls was the hardest. It was one of the most difficult days of my life. We all held each other that day and wept.

Several months before this referral I had a dream and God told me in this dream that our son's birthday would be in February. This particular child's birthday was not in February. But this is not why we let go of the referral. There were other factors and our gut feeling that led to this decision.

Several weeks passed, we were still grieving the loss of our first referral and with mixed emotions we received the referral of Samson.

At first it seemed unfair to the first child to move on and focus on another child. But as soon as we pulled up Samson's picture, we knew without a doubt that he was our son. His birthday? February 11th. But that's not why we accepted the referral of Samson. It was more than the confirmation of his birthday, it was how he looked like our family! He had Olivia's dimples, a round face and of course Steve's brown eyes! How do you put into words how we just knew he was the one?!

And since he has joined our family, I can't tell you how often we have gotten the comment from others about how much he fits into our family.

Soon after we turned down our first referral, we heard from our agency that he had been matched with another family. We were told that his family would be picking him up in July.

We prayed that they would find a family for this beautiful boy soon, so this was very good news. We continued to pray that God landed this precious boy in the perfect family.

As we prepared for our trip to Ethiopia, I had a strange feeling that this boy would still be in the orphanage even though our family travelled in August. So, Steve and I prepared our girls for the possibility of meeting him there.

Well, my feelings became reality when one of the first toddler boys we saw at the orphanage was this boy. We learned that he would be going home with his family very soon. At the time, we knew there had to be a reason why he was still there and a reason why God brought him into our lives in the first place.

When we visited the orphanage to spend time with Samson, we played with this sweet toddler as well. We held him, gave him hugs and lavished love on him. He was so sweet. There were times when Samson was too scared to come anywhere near our family but this sweet boy was always ready to receive love from us. In fact, many times he pulled on Steve's pant legs wanting to be held.

This is why I believe he entered our lives in the first place. God used our family to pray for him and love on him at the orpahange. There was a unexplainable bond between him and our family.

To be honest, there was a time that we wondered if we had made a mistake.

Then by a miracle, through Internet connections, we have been able to connect with his new family and communicate back and forth since he joined them.

We have been blessed with updates and pictures and the ability to watch an amazing transformation come over this beautiful child.

And the coolest thing about this whole story is that he is a perfect fit for his family.

Equally as cool, Samson is the perfect fit for our family.

I share this because I know there are other families who have struggled with a similar decision. Out of obedience we let him go, praying that God had a perfect family chosen for him. As difficult as it was to let go, we prayed hard, we knew we had to go with our gut and we left the rest to the Lord. He makes all things beautiful in time.

We are blessed!


Andrea said...

Thank you for sharing this. WE had a very similar situation happen to us, and we met the children we thought were supposed to be ours...and felt the connection and love...and disdain from our own child. But God was right ... :) Always is :)

Shannon- said...

Thank you Tammy for sharing this. I always wonder if my kiddo was 'presented' to another family before- but i've never heard. I'm so happy you had this experience- this blessing from Him. Hugs to you and your family