I just returned from a spirit filled weekend. It began with an overnight women's retreat. Then off to the cities with some friends to see Chris Tomlin in concert. But not before attending a church service at Church of the Open Doors where Joel Hanson leads the worship music. Wow! My cup is overflowing!!
Between my retreat and trip out of town, I only got 10 minutes to say "good bye" to my girls before Steve shuffled them off to grandmas for the night.
We don't leave our girls overnight often but when we do, my girls grieve over us leaving. All three of them clung to me. They cried real tears of grief, not wanting to say 'good-bye'. My heart also pulled as I promise them that I will pray for each one of them and their time with their grandparents. We also promised them that we would return.
This experience was a good way to explain to my oldest daughter Lauren that we will soon be grieving for the loss of her brother's first family. The feeling she felt when we left for one night will be similar to what her brother will experience when he is relinquished by his first family. Only his family will not be coming back to get him.
I explained to Lauren that his loss will touch our family deeply and that we will most likely grieve right along with him. I knew I could talk about this with Lauren because she is old enough to understand and strong enough to handle the pain of this reality.
Olivia and Avery are aware of the potential circumstances around their brother, which will lead him to join our family. We have talked about the pain of this loss as a whole family. So, I know they can feel the pain of this loss. I just don't know how deep this touches their hearts. They are young and a little more fragile. Not that I want to make light of the circumstances, but for now, I would like to protect their hearts and comfort them when this reality does go deeper for them.