Saturday, September 6, 2008

Thinking of our son as we wait

We continue to prepare our lives and our hearts for our son. We have not been introduced to him yet but in our hearts, we know him and we love him. We know that our son has at least been born already. After we receive our referral, we will know our child's life story but for now we can only imagine what is taking place in his life.

We can only imagine the anguish and pain our son and birth family will experience or have already experienced. It's heart wrenching to know that he will inevitably go through a major loss in his life. Because of this, our referral will come with mixed emotions. We will be overjoyed by knowing who he is and saddened by the story behind why he became available for adoption.

Physically, we are ready for him - we have a place for him to sit in our van, a place for him at our table and a bedroom with a bed ready for him. We are also ready to love on him and welcome him with open arms and hearts. This part of our preparation has been enjoyable, simple and filled with excitement.

Emotionally, this will no doubt be a difficult transition for our family and our son. I don't know if we can fully prepare for this part of the journey. We are sensitive to the fact that while he may find joy in joining our family, he will also be mourning the loss of his first family for some time. This is a hurdle we will prepare our best to come along side him, support him and do what ever we need to help him deal with his loss.

Someone on our forum made the following statement in regards to the lengthened wait time and I couldn't have said it any better:

"Somewhere, on the other side of the world, was a family, a family whose future was someday going to somehow intertwine with mine. And what that family was experiencing right then was something I could never imagine. And they would have probably given anything in the world to have nothing to complain about but a wait…"

They are the real heroes in this journey and they will always have a place in our hearts and we will be forever grateful to them for the gift of our son.

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