Expressions from a four year old

I haven't blogged for a very long time, so for now, I thought I would share some cute expressions from Samson's perspective.

When we were driving in the car together, just out of the blue Samson said, "I want to milk a cow!"
First I laughed because I thought, where did that come from? There was not a cow in sight and he all of a sudden wants to milk a cow? Truth be told, I've always wanted to milk a cow too. We may have to find a dairy farm soon to satisfy this urge.

One morning when we were in a hurry, I told Samson, "Quick! Get your shirt on! We have to go now!" Samson's reply back? "I will go as quick as a dog chews." I don't have any idea where that came from.

One day when he was racing his sister Avery upstairs Samson said, "The last one up has to eat cheap candy corn." This statement in itself is bizarre but to add to that, it wasn't even Thanksgiving season when you may have candy corn around in the house. He has one goofy imagination.

The other day, when he stepped out of the bathtub, he had a wet washcloth wrapped around his waist and said, "Mommy! I look like Jesus!"

We are also going through a phase of making up jokes. I remember when my girls were the same age and loved to make up jokes. They have all told jokes that don't make any sense and are so silly that they make us laugh anyway. But I don't know if they know they are not really that funny.

That's all I will share for now. My next post may be titled something like, "Turning a new leaf" because our family is waiting on the next thing. We know what ever lies ahead, we are going to be blessed but I have to admit, I am a bit fearful of the unknowns. I'll update soon!

Our $2 Day

Almost half the world lives on less than $2 per day. A few organizations put together a challenge for families and individuals to try for just one day to feed our families on $2. Yesterday was the day.

When I first saw this challenge, I had "good" excuses to exclude our family:  Lauren is in Nordic skiing and has vigorous workouts after school; my younger girls receive snacks during school and I couldn't ask them to turn down the snack. Also, kids would make fun of them if they brought a very small sack lunch. How would they explain to their friends this weird thing that their family decided to do?

What about Samson? He has already experienced severe hunger in his life. How could I expect him to eat so little for one day?

This challenge just was not a fit for our family.

Then the closer we got to the day of the challenge, I realized more and more that my excuses don't hold any water. The whole purpose of the challenge is to know how it feels to be in half of the world's population shoes just for one day.

The challenge is suppose to help us feel the same pain that a mother feels when they can't provide an adequate nutrient filled diet for their children. It must be one of the most difficult things to watch your child's health diminish, to watch them grow weak because you can't provide enough food to sustain them.

So, I decided that our family can do this. I started planning, like many parents all over the world plan each day, how I would provide for my family for this one day. I decided that I would eat less so that my kids could  have more. I also made the decision to exempt Samson from the challenge because I don't want him to experience hunger again.

Days leading up to yesterday, I was beginning to feel what it's like to be a mother on a limited food budget. I told myself, how can I not experience this for just one day when mothers all over the world endure this challenge without a choice every single day.

I designed a menu. I did sacrifice my portions for my children. I packed a meager lunch for each of the girls. Without a complaint, they left the house with their lunch and agreed to not take the snack for the day. They had more confidence in themselves that they could do this than I had in them.

When I picked up the little girls from school, they were hungry but did not complain. Olivia shared with me that she explained the whole thing to her class. They asked her many questions. This sounded like it was a great learning opportunity for Olivia and her classmates.

Last night at the dinner table, Olivia thanked God for bringing our family through this experience. She was grateful!

I worried the most about Lauren. She is in Nordic skiing and she always needs a healthy snack after school to get her through practice. Yesterday was one of the most difficult practices they have had this year and she did it with no snack and very little to eat at lunch.

Her friends weren't as understanding or kind about it. They actually tried bribing her with food all during the lunch period. She said they thought it was weird. But she did not succumb to pressure and stuck with the challenge.

Lauren also had a AP Biology test today. Last night as she was going to her room to study, she looked weak and tired. I felt horrible for her and offered her more to eat so she could have the strength to study well for her test. But she turned down more food by saying, "kids who eat like this everyday must have to study for big tests."

When I put my little ones to sleep last night, I had a pounding headache. Avery also complained of feeling faint and weak. But I knew all of our headaches and our weakness would be gone in the morning. I knew that today we could eat a "normal" days worth of food and that we would all be fine.

It pained me to think about families who put their kids to bed hungry, wake up hungry and go day after day on little to eat. How selfish of  me to at one time think that we could not do this even for one day.

Sometimes I convince myself that I am doing enough to fight injustice in this world. I have even asked God to release me of some responsibilities because at times I feel overwhelmed.

But in reality, I know I can do more. I don't really believe that God ever says,
"That's enough! You are doing too much!"

Sometimes I think we have to put ourselves in someone's shoes even if it is just for one day to give us the motivation to respond. We need to be stretched and challenged otherwise we run the risk of becoming desensitized by the needs around us.

Also, when we make it less about ourselves and more about Him, I know we can do so much more. Admittedly, I fear asking for more. That seems risky too.

However, I rather ask for more and take the risk of God using me to make a difference in the world than to do nothing and risk missing out on the adventure God has planned for me.

We love you Grandma June

I lost my sweet, beautiful grandma June on November 1st. I love her so much and will miss her dearly. You know the story in the Bible when a crowd gathers around Jesus and the adults push there way to him but Jesus commands, "Let the little children come to me!" This story shows clearly that our Lord looks out for the little ones.

Well, this is the same image my grandma has left with me. She had a Christ-like character when it came to loving children. Wheelchair bound, she welcomed sometimes 2 children at a time to her lap and would adorn them with many hugs and kisses, telling them how much they had grown and how much she loved them.

The first time she met Samson, she was 89 years old and I was unsure how she would respond to him. But you know, that's another thing I will always remember about my grandma...she did not judge others. Never once did I ever hear her speak poorly about anyone else. She always thought of others first and she always had high regards for each person she ever came in contact with.

She embraced Samson with as much love and affection as she offered to his sisters. In fact at times she seemed to favor him. While other women about her same age were asking where he came from, calling him a "darky" and asking how I know he doesn't have aids, my grandma loved him unconditionally.

My grandma was also very generous despite having very little. When she lived in her assistant living place, the personnel would bring her to the local dollar store where she would buy little figurines to hand out to her visitors. The kids have several of these figurines.

Each time we visited, she wanted to give something to the kids, a piece of candy, an angel figurine or a small stuffed animal. She would look around her room at her very few possessions and come up with something that she could offer to each of the kids.

She lived to be 91 years old. The last week of her life, she was admitted to the hospital, placed on hospice and on a high dose of morphine.

During this week, she was visibly in a lot of pain. One day, on a whim, I decided to take Samson and drive to the hospital to see her.

She was not opening her eyes any longer and was unable to speak but when I held her hand, it was very evident that she was coherent. She responded to my talking by squeezing my hand and trying very hard to open her eyes and to talk.

After some time, I held Samson up to her and he gave her a kiss on her forehead and then he sang a few songs to her, like the ABC's and "I'm Bringing Home My Baby Bubble Bee". This obviously brought pure joy to her heart. She responded in such a way to Samson's presence I thought that for a moment she was about to open her eyes and speak. She grasped his little hand tightly into hers, not letting anything hold her back from showing her affection towards Samson one last time.

It is the hardest thing on earth to say good-bye to someone you know you will not see again on this side of heaven.

But I left that day with a happy heart too. I was happy that she would soon be free of her pain and in the arms of Jesus. What a comfort to know that my grandma knew where she was going and she knew Jesus.

She went home to be with Jesus that same evening.

We will miss you grandma June!

Really Cool New Shirts!

We have the new Bring Love In T-shirts in the store now! Go check them out!

All proceeds go to help orphan and widows in Ethiopia.

Coming soon: some really amazing metal artwork. Make sure to check back often for more new items

More than we can handle

You know the statement, "God never gives you more than you can handle?" Well, I share Katie Davis' perspective on this statement in that God absolutely, intentionally gives us more than we can handle.

Katie states that, He gives us more than we can handle "because this is when we surrender to Him and He takes over, proving Himself by doing the impossible in our lives."

Right now I am faced with the "impossible" because of my limited knowledge. I feel so directionless as an advocate for an orphanage in Haiti. But Katie's words encouraged me once again that God can turn this situation around. That maybe He is overwhelming me with the task so that I can die to myself and need more of Him.

I have followed up with the business man who showed interest in learning more about how he can help. He is still "thinking" about it. And although I have not given up hope, God has directed me to keep advocating and not to wait on this man.

There is an organization that I have been communicating with and they are interested in coming along side me in efforts to help the orphanage. They have people on the ground in Haiti and they are an organization that I have grown to know and trust the people who would work with me.

Several months ago, they entered into a very messy situation with another orphanage in the same city. There is evidence that this orphanage has been trafficking children and harvesting their organs among many other reported abuses. This has taken much of their time and energy.

Therefore, we will have to wait, which I'm fine with because it's important that the 75 children of this orphanage are freed of their bondage first. They are working on getting the orphanage shut down and then they will assist in placing each child in a safe and trusting orphanage.

In the meantime, they asked me to pull together a critical mass of people to help sponsor the children in Pastor Firmin's orphanage. I have pictures, names and ages of the children. I'm working on pulling together a monthly amount that would support each child.

At this time, I don't know how I'm going to present this or how I'm going to manage donors but I know in time God will show me how. Please pray for each of these 17 children. Pray whether God wants you to sponsor one of them. Together, we can make a difference for 17 children who desperately need our prayers, support and encouragement. Let's watch God figure this one out!

His Work

I started reading the book, "Kisses from Katie". I am so inspired by Katie's life and the experiences she shares loving the people in Uganda. If you don't follow Katie's story, you may want to check out her blog. Her writing will fill you up.

In her book, she wrote this:

"For years before I went to Uganda, I had fantasized about doing something incredible for God and others; what I have learned is that I can do nothing incredible, but as I follow God into impossible situations, He can work miracles in and through me."

I LOVE this statement. We cannot by our own strength do anything great for God. But instead, God can do amazing things through us when we let Him use us.

For a little over a year our family along with friends of our family have come along side the Benkert family serving in Ethiopia, first through Drawn From Water and now with Bring Love In. We have been running the on-line store.

The Benkerts have thanked us over and over again for our support. But really, it should be us thanking them for this opportunity. I personally do not feel qualified or worthy of this work.

And when my friend Rachael and I sat down to design the new Bring Love In t-shirt, I admit, my creative juices were not flowing. They were interrupted by thoughts going through my head, like "why am I chosen for this work?" "Aren't there others who are far more qualified than I?"

Like Katie, I have always wanted to do something great for God. But when we let Him do the work, He can do more than we can imagine.

I can be creative but I have limited software skills and knowledge. This is where Rachael fits in - she has experience with design work and the software.

So, the two of us sat there and at the end of our time together, we came up with something very simple and basic. We forwarded this to the Benkerts for approval and they "loved" it.

Now, I know there is nothing wrong with simple and basic - I'm slowly learning that simple is best in life. However, I just was not sure about the design, like we hadn't put enough effort into it and did not give it our best shot. Maybe the Benkerts were just being kind by saying they loved it.

Rachael shared the same feelings as I. She expressed that given the time to focus and concentrate, she maybe could come up with something different.

Really when I think back, we were trying hard to come up with something amazing but maybe we weren't letting God in on the project. Plus we both allowed our own insecurities be a barrier to God's work.

I prayed that God would work through her and help her design something amazing - a design that would be unmistakably perfect for the new t-shirt. I am far from perfect but I know that God can use us to perfect His work.

The next day I received a text from Rachael to check my email. I went to my computer and downloaded several new files to my computer and what I pulled up were the most incredible design ideas for the Bring Love In t-shirts.

Around the same time, Bring Love In showcased their new leather cuff bracelets.

The new t-shirt design ideas included a design that resembled the design on the bracelets! At first glance, one would think that they were designed together. But this was not Rachael's plan to design them this way - God just made it happen this way. This is the design the Benkerts chose as their favorite!

We are so close to adding the new t-shirts to the store. We are so excited to see the finish product and we know you will like them. Plus this time we are offering both a men's and women's shirt. So, keep checking the store, it will be there soon - I promise!

I know that Rachael would agree with me that all of this is God's workmanship. We can not take any credit. I am so blessed to have this work - it brings pure joy in my heart just knowing that the work God has given me will help give orphans and widows a forever family.

Believe

Our family has been blessed to come along side a couple ministries serving orphans in developing countries.

One of those ministries, serving in Ethiopia, is called Bring Love In. I have written about them before. They are serving widows and orphans in a unique way, bringing them together in forever homes. I will share more about our involvement and the ministry at another time. Check out their new on-line store. They are selling really cool handmade leather cuff bracelets. They had 300 made for the first run and they are already SOLD OUT! But more are being made, so if you want one, still place your order - you just may have to wait a little longer.

The other project that we are involved in is coming along side an orphanage in Haiti. As many of you know, Lauren and I traveled to Haiti about a year ago. While there we made some very special connections and have continued to build relationships with these connections via email or phone.

I knew that before I made the decision to go on this Short Term Mission trip that I wanted to stay involved and  help in some way. So, I have maintained my connections and for the past several months, I have been advocating for this small orphanage located in the city of Carrfour. The orphanage is run by Pastor Firmin and his wife. They have 5 children of their own and have taken in 12 children orphaned from the earthquake.

Their home was destroyed by the earthquake and they now sleep in temporary shelters on their house property. Since the earthquake, they have had only one team from the US visit them.

One of the last update I received was heartbreaking. They had been without food for several days and they do not have the funds to enroll the children in school this fall. This is highly concerning because as you all may know, education is the ticket to survival in a developing country.

There are days, especially when I hear reports of families in the community having to give up their children or children starving to death, I feel overwhelmed and discouraged. Honestly, there are days I wish I could just say, "I can't do it" and walk away. That's hard to admit. But a couple weeks ago I spent 10 days in a row with thoughts of giving up. 10 days where I was numb. 10 days someone was waiting for me to respond.

I prayed during these 10 days but still I could not feel what direction God wanted me to go with this project. It became such a weight on my life. I felt like the future of this unknown to the the rest of the world orphanage all in my hands. I came so close to not responding. I wanted to pretend that I did not know about them. I know this sounds harsh but after being unsuccessful with soliciting help from those who do know, I was feeling a little beaten down. Discouragement set in and took control of me.

Just when I was about ready to give up, I read something about fasting. It was at that time that I decided that I had not done everything I could. It took all the strength that I could muster out of poor discouraged little me and I fasted and prayed for Pastor Firmin's orphanage.

I fasted and prayed for 2 days. On the second day of my fasting, I received a call from my contact with an update. This is the same person who had been waiting 10 days for me to respond. He informed me that the orphanage had been without food for 3 days and on the 4th day, they were given food. The day that they ate was the first day of my fasting.

He also had another praise to report: the school principal at the school the children attend has agreed to let the children begin the school year despite not having their tuition payment.

I went from feeling alone in this battle to understanding that God has been there the whole time.

I have heard that the combination of fasting and praying are the only way to unleash certain demons. So I consulted with a very wise and Godly man, someone I can trust will speak straight truth. He said that he believes that fasting and praying does not unleash demons but instead fasting and praying unleashes "UNBELIEF". There is more that I learned from this conversation but that was the basis of it.

Through my feelings of discouragement, I started to lose faith and disbelieve. But through the combination of fasting and praying, I have truly seen miracles.

And there is more...
Steve and I have been discussing a long term plan to help Pastor Firmin and his community sustain themselves. We have some ideas but it will involve a lot of time and resources.

So this week, just one day after the amazing update from my contact person, Steve just happened to share something about this orphanage to someone during a business lunch meeting. This person has asked for more information about the orphanage and will consider financially coming along Steve and I to achieve this long term plan. We have submitted all the information we have and now we are waiting on a response. So, please all you prayer warriors out there, please pray that God will work through this business man's heart to help bring down the financial barrier that is keeping us from accomplishing a long term goal for Pastor Firmin's community.

I share this story about praying and fasting, not to draw attention to myself but only to show you how God really does work miracles when we believe.

I think about how close I was to throwing in the towel on this project. Just think how much I would have missed out if I would have chosen to limit God.

So, my questions to you is, "Are there things that you have thought about turning your back to because it's just too much?" "Are you limiting God to just the things that you can physically and/or financially handle?" "Or, are you trusting and believing in Him to carry out the work that He has planned in advance for you to do?"

Really ask yourself these questions when you are at a crossroads. Because once you turn your back, God cannot use you. Are you allowing doors to close? Or are you persevering through the doors that are open maybe even just a crack to allow God to accomplish more through you?

Water

You hear about families in developing countries walking miles and miles to fetch dirty water for drinking, cleaning and bathing. This water contains bacteria that can cause diseases and death in children. But without water, we can die too. It's an unfair predicament that millions face each day.

Samson's birth family does not have access to clean drinking water. When we talk about his life before he joined our family, the fact that some people live without a clean drinking source is unthinkable to him.

He asks me questions like, "Well, why don't we give them some of our water? We have plenty." It's not that simple but yet he does notice our abundance.

And then just a couple days ago, he asked, "If my birth family doesn't have clean drinking water, why don't they go somewhere that does?"

Based on our conversations and all his questions, what he wants for his birth family more than anything is to see them some day have access to clean water.

This past summer when we got together with my friend Tanya and her sons, Samson's buddies from his orphanage, she told me about a triathlon that she was part of to raise money for a water project in our boys' home town Mudula, Ethiopia.

Samson was born in a village outside of Mudula. At this time I am still unsure of whether this fresh water project will reach his particular village but after communicating back and forth with one of the organizers of the project, I have learned that there is a strong chance that his birth family's village will benefit.

When completed, this project is said to reach 10,000! That's 10,000 people who currently drink from an unsanitary source; that means hundreds of women and girls who no longer have to walk for hours to fetch water from a stream but now can spend that time in school instead; that means diseases and death will be cut down dramatically. And for children like Samson, this is a big wish come true!

If you are interested in financially coming along side this water project, go HERE to make your donation. I like my friend Shannon's idea and that is, to challenge each of you to give the amount that your water bill is each month. Is it $50, $100, $200? What are you willing to pay to have clean water each month? Can you donate that amount today?