We had a very sweet Valentine's Day. In the morning, as we were making plans to head out of town for a day of shopping (which we haven't done as a whole family for years!!), Steve presented each of us girls a Valentine card. In each card, he expressed the qualities he most admired about each of us. We were all very touched by his thoughtful expressions. It always feels good to be appreciated as a mother and wife but what touched me the most were his loving words to each of his daughters. He is such a good father to them. The type of relationship he builds with them will no doubt impact how they select their future husbands.
After getting on the road, we made a quick stop at a coffee shop to treat ourselves to a yummy coffee for the trip. Picking up a coffee and heading out of town with my family, is one of my favorite things, so I was in heaven!!
The "Daughter's Heart" Celebration is this Saturday, so we bought the girls new dresses for the occasion. Steve was such a good sport and had lots of patience while us girls browsed through the stores. On our way home from our shopping trip, we had dinner with Steve's sister.
The entire day was a treat and so perfect! I love my sweetheart!!!!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Still waiting
Our agency gave out a batch of referrals last week and according to our specialist, they had several toddler age children. Unfortunately our son was not one of those.
So, we continue to wait. Steve and I talked last night about how we feel our life is on hold. We didn't schedule a winter vacation because of the what ifs and now we can't even talk about a summer vacation, because most likely that is when our son will come home at the rate things are going.
School was called off today due to icy conditions. This has been a long winter for our family and looking back, we wish we would have scheduled a winter vacation. But I'm trying to look on the bright side of things. That is, if we wait until next winter to take a warm weather vacation, our son will be with us.
Even though I have low moments, I'm really trying to be optimistic during the wait. God has brought our family through quite the change since we started this journey. Although this journey has not been easy, the challenges have allowed us time to grow. And for that, I can be thankful. We are even more ready to receive our son into our lives.
Our specialist also informed us that the time between referral and travel went from 12 weeks to 16 weeks, which means if we get a referral soon, we will not travel until June.
There is a reason for God's timing and His timing is perfect. We can't even begin to imagine the big picture of things unseen happening around us. God is intentional - He knows what He is doing.
Tabagon Fun! This past weekend we watched our friend's two girls. The 5 girls had a blast sledding yesteray afternoon. Can you see Avery?
Saturday, February 7, 2009
"Come pick me up!"
Over Christmas break Lauren attended a ski camp out of town for 2 nights. 10 inches of snow fell the morning they were suppose to leave to come home. The night before, I confirmed her ride home with a trusting parent.
The day I expected her home, Lauren called that morning and the first words that came out of her mouth were, "come and get me! So and so's dad is not coming now because of the weather and I don't want to be stuck here!" She had great anxiety and desperation in the tone of her voice.
As her mother and one looking forward to her returning home, my heartstrings pulled hard that morning. My first instinct was to get in the car and go get her. But it would be too much of a risk with the current weather conditions.
After consulting with other concerned parents, we began making plans for our kids to stay one more night. I spoke to Lauren on her cell phone several times throughout the day with updates on the weather and lodging preparations.
I offered her as much reassurance and encouragement I could throughout the morning. During our last conversation together, her cell phone went dead but she was ready to settle in and accept the fact that she will not make it home. But being 'cut off' from one another, I could no longer give her comfort or reassurance.
Then, early that afternoon, I got a call from another parent who just received word that the team decided to drive home after all. They had just enough seat belts between all the cars. This caused most parents to become even more anxious, those who had teenagers driving and those, like me who has a child riding with teenage drivers. Not that I don't trust teenagers - it's just that they don't have as much experience driving in this type of weather.
Well, after much concern, our team arrived home safe.
I keep thinking about Lauren's words of panic that one snowy morning: "Come and get me!" When I received her phone call, I hung up and cried. Sadness overwhelmed me. I can't forget my feelings from that day.
In the past few months, each time I think about our son, I am almost always on the verge of tears. I think about how hard it is to wait, not knowing his condition, not being able to communicate with him and I don't even know his face.
I think about the transition time when he will not have anyone to call daddy or mommy. This is the time he will spend in an institution with several other children who are also waiting for their forever family.
Our agency has a list of children waiting for families. Most of these children have medical concerns or are older, making it harder to find them a family. For one, there is a sweet 5 year old boy living in our agency's orphanage in Addis Ababa. He has been living there for 3 years. He has autism. During his 3 years at the care center, he has watched more than 700 kids leave with their forever families. I often think about this child and wonder how many anxious moments he has had waiting for his family. I think about how he doesn't have anyone to call family and he doesn't have anyone to call at all to come pick him up.
Friends of ours adopted a toddler boy from China. A few months after being home with him, he asked his father why it took him so long to pick him up.
After we receive the referral of our son, it will be 3 more months before we travel. This wait for a referral has been hard and now I'm starting to understand why adoptive parents say that the wait time between referral and travel is even harder. Once we know our son is waiting for us, I hate to see him wait much longer.
The day I expected her home, Lauren called that morning and the first words that came out of her mouth were, "come and get me! So and so's dad is not coming now because of the weather and I don't want to be stuck here!" She had great anxiety and desperation in the tone of her voice.
As her mother and one looking forward to her returning home, my heartstrings pulled hard that morning. My first instinct was to get in the car and go get her. But it would be too much of a risk with the current weather conditions.
After consulting with other concerned parents, we began making plans for our kids to stay one more night. I spoke to Lauren on her cell phone several times throughout the day with updates on the weather and lodging preparations.
I offered her as much reassurance and encouragement I could throughout the morning. During our last conversation together, her cell phone went dead but she was ready to settle in and accept the fact that she will not make it home. But being 'cut off' from one another, I could no longer give her comfort or reassurance.
Then, early that afternoon, I got a call from another parent who just received word that the team decided to drive home after all. They had just enough seat belts between all the cars. This caused most parents to become even more anxious, those who had teenagers driving and those, like me who has a child riding with teenage drivers. Not that I don't trust teenagers - it's just that they don't have as much experience driving in this type of weather.
Well, after much concern, our team arrived home safe.
I keep thinking about Lauren's words of panic that one snowy morning: "Come and get me!" When I received her phone call, I hung up and cried. Sadness overwhelmed me. I can't forget my feelings from that day.
In the past few months, each time I think about our son, I am almost always on the verge of tears. I think about how hard it is to wait, not knowing his condition, not being able to communicate with him and I don't even know his face.
I think about the transition time when he will not have anyone to call daddy or mommy. This is the time he will spend in an institution with several other children who are also waiting for their forever family.
Our agency has a list of children waiting for families. Most of these children have medical concerns or are older, making it harder to find them a family. For one, there is a sweet 5 year old boy living in our agency's orphanage in Addis Ababa. He has been living there for 3 years. He has autism. During his 3 years at the care center, he has watched more than 700 kids leave with their forever families. I often think about this child and wonder how many anxious moments he has had waiting for his family. I think about how he doesn't have anyone to call family and he doesn't have anyone to call at all to come pick him up.
Friends of ours adopted a toddler boy from China. A few months after being home with him, he asked his father why it took him so long to pick him up.
After we receive the referral of our son, it will be 3 more months before we travel. This wait for a referral has been hard and now I'm starting to understand why adoptive parents say that the wait time between referral and travel is even harder. Once we know our son is waiting for us, I hate to see him wait much longer.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Update on our girls....
Gymnast:
Our little Avery started gymnastics this past summer. She took a preschool gymnastics class just to see if this would be something of interest to her. Fast forward 6 months, she has passed through 3 classes and is now a 5 year old SALTO! This girl can do cartwheels, flips, the splits and a bunch of other things that I don't know the name for...basically, we have a gymnast in the family! As a side note, I tried doing a cartwheel and almost threw my back out. Needless to say, I don't only not know the names of the 'stunts' she has mastered, I also can not show her how to perform anything.
Olivia's after school interests still include drawing and writing stories. She wants to be a children's author and illustrator when she grows up. She is well on her way to fulfilling her dream with a portfolio filled with her creations.
I don't usually like to brag about my girls' accomplishments but this is a brag for the Lord:
On her first quarter report card, Olivia's teacher wrote words to describes Olivia and her character. As a side note, Olivia and Avery attend a Christian grade school where the goal is not to be the smartest kid but rather develop a deep faith in the Lord and learn to lead by Christian example. I know that most of this is learned in the home but to know that it is also being embraced and practiced in school, brings much comfort to me. This is what Olivia's teacher shared about who she is as a person:
Olivia is a blessing to have in 3rd Grade. She leads by Christian example. Her faith is obviously important to her. It's fantastic to see a little girl so on fire for the Lord. She is social, but knows the difference between work time and play time. She participates in all areas of learning. Olivia is self-motivated, working to do her best to improve and learn. She is an intelligent young lady. She picks up on new concepts quickly. I have seen great improvement in her math times sheets.
This brought tears to my eyes. It's amazing to see all the ways God works through a child during their walk of faith. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to parent my three daughters. I have had the joys of watching their faith grow one step at a time. And for this, I can say, this is a brag for the Lord.
Lauren is our daughter who has to be in EVERYTHING!! Even though she keeps us hopping the most of all three of our kids, Steve and I set limits to her activities to balance out our family and church life. It can be challenging to maintain a balance life at times, especially while we try to embrace all of our kids' interests and encourage them in the areas they are gifted.
We always want to be involved in the lives of our children to show our care and support, EVEN when it requires us to volunteer our time at a ski meet outside for 3 straight hours in 30 below windchill weather. Nonetheless, we very much enjoyed watching our daughter take off at the starting line and cross the finish line. This particular race, she came in 8th place! GO LAUREN!!
Here are the friends she has bonded with on her cross country ski team:
Here are the friends she has bonded with on her cross country ski team:
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Reality
(I wrote the following for our Women's Ministry newsletter and thought I would post it here as well)
There are numerous shows tagged as Reality Shows. They seem to attract millions of viewers all over the world. In most Reality Shows, life situations are played out and filmed as entertainment for TV viewers. Most shows present a challenge and reward the strongest player.
“Survivor,” a popular reality show, challenges a few brave men and women to put their life survival skills to use on a deserted island with limited resources. The person who plays the most clever game of survival, walks away with $1 million at the end of the series. The losers, other than brief notoriety, will return to their comfortable lifestyle, most likely.
In reality, there are millions who will not ever watch one second of these reality shows but they will live their whole life just trying to survive. Survival to them is reality.
In November we hosted an event to honor our missionary women. One missionary serving in South Africa shared the story about a woman standing on a street corner in pouring rain with her children by her side trying to sell one mushroom. Selling this mushroom appeared to be her only hope for the day but as dusk was setting in, her hope would diminish.
In December, we held a tour of homes to benefit a local woman’s shelter. At this event, we heard from a survivor of domestic violence. Her courageous story of survival was humbling and eye opening.
If you miss an episode of your favorite reality show, it will still be there next week. However, there is reality you can’t ignore. We don't want to miss the opportunity to make a difference in the life of God's hurting people. “Once our eyes are opened we cannot pretend we do not know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows we know and holds us responsible to act.” (Proverbs 24:12)
In February, Women's Ministry will give you the opportunity to help end the reality of Human Trafficking, a real life tragedy. Our National project, “Break the Chains” is an effort to save one child at a time from this horrific lifestyle and to give them hope of surviving in this world; to give them hope for a better future.
In real life, there are no actors or performers and unfortunately sometimes very few survivors. The struggle for survival is not a game but a reality. Pray about your role in serving the Lord to help provide a better reality for those less fortunate.
There are numerous shows tagged as Reality Shows. They seem to attract millions of viewers all over the world. In most Reality Shows, life situations are played out and filmed as entertainment for TV viewers. Most shows present a challenge and reward the strongest player.
“Survivor,” a popular reality show, challenges a few brave men and women to put their life survival skills to use on a deserted island with limited resources. The person who plays the most clever game of survival, walks away with $1 million at the end of the series. The losers, other than brief notoriety, will return to their comfortable lifestyle, most likely.
In reality, there are millions who will not ever watch one second of these reality shows but they will live their whole life just trying to survive. Survival to them is reality.
In November we hosted an event to honor our missionary women. One missionary serving in South Africa shared the story about a woman standing on a street corner in pouring rain with her children by her side trying to sell one mushroom. Selling this mushroom appeared to be her only hope for the day but as dusk was setting in, her hope would diminish.
In December, we held a tour of homes to benefit a local woman’s shelter. At this event, we heard from a survivor of domestic violence. Her courageous story of survival was humbling and eye opening.
If you miss an episode of your favorite reality show, it will still be there next week. However, there is reality you can’t ignore. We don't want to miss the opportunity to make a difference in the life of God's hurting people. “Once our eyes are opened we cannot pretend we do not know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows we know and holds us responsible to act.” (Proverbs 24:12)
In February, Women's Ministry will give you the opportunity to help end the reality of Human Trafficking, a real life tragedy. Our National project, “Break the Chains” is an effort to save one child at a time from this horrific lifestyle and to give them hope of surviving in this world; to give them hope for a better future.
In real life, there are no actors or performers and unfortunately sometimes very few survivors. The struggle for survival is not a game but a reality. Pray about your role in serving the Lord to help provide a better reality for those less fortunate.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
December Happenings!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2008!!!!
We are enjoying our time with the kids on break from school. Due to a snow day, they were home one day early. This meant they missed their Christmas celebrations at school and the home baked teacher gifts had to be put in the freezer. Despite this, the kids didn't seem to mind one more day of vacation.
On my birthday, December 13th, Steve and the girls surprised me with a party. Several of our friends showed up at our house after we returned from dinner to help me celebrate being 40! Steve, my dad and the girls decorated and cleaned the house while my mom took me shopping - pretty tricky, huh!?!! Steve managed to orchestrate the food preparation through my mom and his mom. What a fun surprise!!!
The weekend before Christmas we travelled to my parents where we celebrated with my immediate family. We stayed one extra night due to a blizzard. We didn't mind staying extra. There was no shortage of food or fun. It's nice to see the cousins get extra play time as well since my sister and her husband also stayed an extra night.
Christmas Eve we spent with Steve's family. Lauren played her violin and read the Christmas story. Olivia read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' and sang Silent Night in sign language and German with Avery.
On Christmas Day we stayed home and enjoyed each other as a family. In the evening I invited my Chinese friend Penny and her son for dinner. This was quite a treat because Penny brought a Chinese dish to share for the meal. Penny doesn't have any family in the states, so we were happy to spend part of the day with her.
Today, Sunday December 28th has been a very restful and peaceful day for us. Olivia and Avery are cleaning their rooms getting ready for a play date tomorrow and Lauren is away at cross-country ski camp at Maplelag.
We don't have any news to share about the adoption but we did get a call from our Social Worker on Tuesday. This was the first time she called since we were approved in May. Anyway, she just wished us a Merry Christmas and encouraged us to hang in there and that our referral should come soon after the first of the year. Even though she didn't have any news, it was good to hear from SOMEONE at our agency.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Turning 40 and a toddler on the way
If someone were to tell me 3 years ago that I would have more children after 40, I would have told them they were crazy! After having our third child, Steve and I thought we had our perfect family. We weren't planning on any more children.
People ask me how I feel about turning 40 and although I haven't given it much thought, I do appreciate being able to celebrate another birthday. I'm thankful that I am still here and that I am surrounded by friends and family to honor me on this special occasion.
And now that I am expecting a child at the age of 40, it doesn't feel awkward to me. Maybe I don't think it's such a crazy thing because it is reality now.
Many would think we are crazy to disrupt this closely knit family. We are so blessed with our three healthy daughters. Some people are concerned about how this will affect our biological children and the roles each of them play in our family. Will this be a setback? Will this affect our daughters negatively? Why would we want to take any chances?
This adoption journey has affected our family. Our hearts are warmer because of our journey. We care more for the less fortunate because of this journey. We care less for our ourselves because of this journey. This was a chance worth taking.
Our girls are overly blessed with material things. They have all their needs met and many times get much of what they wish. Not that they aren't thankful but in many ways they get too much.
As part of preparing for our son, we can't help but stumble across story after story of those less fortunate. These stories have changed our family. This journey has been a lesson on compassion.
I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I want to share a few examples of how my girls have changed and how they are making room for their new brother in their lives.
When I ask each of them what they want for Christmas, they each think about their brother's needs first. Olivia's letter to Santa includes money to send to Ethiopia to help the poor and a few gifts for her brother.
Avery asked for a gift card to Target to buy presents for her brother.
Lauren asked if our family could sponsor a child through Compassion International after she returned from a youth conference where they spoke about sponsorships.
They have all learned a lesson in putting somone else first.
For me, instead of hoping Steve buys me a gift card to my favorite coffee shop or surprises me with a new piece of jewelry, I don't want him to buy me anything. Well, I still am selfish in many ways but this journey has changed me.
And here I am 40 years old, still much to learn and have learned much. But without this adoption journey, I wouldn't be the person I am today, having changed little.
I like what this journey has done for our family. We are closer because of it. Our eyes are more open to the needs of this world because of it. We have more compassion because of it. And we are less selfish because of it. We are bursting at the seams with love for this child.
As much as this journey has changed us, I can only imagine the joy that is still yet to come. How did we get so lucky? Yes! This journey has been a disruption to our family. It has disrupted our selfish ways to help us refocus on what is important in life.
Dear son, if you only knew how much you have changed our lives already even before you join our family. You have made our hearts grow larger and when you physically join us, you will fill an empty place in our tightly woven family.
People ask me how I feel about turning 40 and although I haven't given it much thought, I do appreciate being able to celebrate another birthday. I'm thankful that I am still here and that I am surrounded by friends and family to honor me on this special occasion.
And now that I am expecting a child at the age of 40, it doesn't feel awkward to me. Maybe I don't think it's such a crazy thing because it is reality now.
Many would think we are crazy to disrupt this closely knit family. We are so blessed with our three healthy daughters. Some people are concerned about how this will affect our biological children and the roles each of them play in our family. Will this be a setback? Will this affect our daughters negatively? Why would we want to take any chances?
This adoption journey has affected our family. Our hearts are warmer because of our journey. We care more for the less fortunate because of this journey. We care less for our ourselves because of this journey. This was a chance worth taking.
Our girls are overly blessed with material things. They have all their needs met and many times get much of what they wish. Not that they aren't thankful but in many ways they get too much.
As part of preparing for our son, we can't help but stumble across story after story of those less fortunate. These stories have changed our family. This journey has been a lesson on compassion.
I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I want to share a few examples of how my girls have changed and how they are making room for their new brother in their lives.
When I ask each of them what they want for Christmas, they each think about their brother's needs first. Olivia's letter to Santa includes money to send to Ethiopia to help the poor and a few gifts for her brother.
Avery asked for a gift card to Target to buy presents for her brother.
Lauren asked if our family could sponsor a child through Compassion International after she returned from a youth conference where they spoke about sponsorships.
They have all learned a lesson in putting somone else first.
For me, instead of hoping Steve buys me a gift card to my favorite coffee shop or surprises me with a new piece of jewelry, I don't want him to buy me anything. Well, I still am selfish in many ways but this journey has changed me.
And here I am 40 years old, still much to learn and have learned much. But without this adoption journey, I wouldn't be the person I am today, having changed little.
I like what this journey has done for our family. We are closer because of it. Our eyes are more open to the needs of this world because of it. We have more compassion because of it. And we are less selfish because of it. We are bursting at the seams with love for this child.
As much as this journey has changed us, I can only imagine the joy that is still yet to come. How did we get so lucky? Yes! This journey has been a disruption to our family. It has disrupted our selfish ways to help us refocus on what is important in life.
Dear son, if you only knew how much you have changed our lives already even before you join our family. You have made our hearts grow larger and when you physically join us, you will fill an empty place in our tightly woven family.
Friday, December 5, 2008
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