Advocating

Advocating for a cause can be so rewarding, yet exhausting. I have learned that advocating for the materially poor is one of the toughest jobs out there. The poor, especially children are the most vulnerable and at risk people in the world. They need advocates because most of the time they are voiceless and powerless. However, the spiritual warfare can be strong at times, making it very complicated and difficult to push through the barriers to reach the most vulnerable.

We partner with Kids Against Hunger (KAH). They provide all the food we need to feed 20 families in the area that we work. These families rely on us for food. Without it, some of these family members would be dead today from starvation! The Kids Against Hunger food is saving lives!

I should mention here too that we are not just giving out free food and walking away. We are well aware that feeding people does not resolve the problem. God has given us 20 families to feed and we are assessing each of these families one by one, building a relationship with them and searching for a better understanding of their needs and how we can come alongside them for the LONG haul. We have launched a program called our Strong Family Program. Each of the families in this program will be mentored and discipled. We will provide education for their children and literacy classes for the parents. In addition, we will offer vocational training and support for each family so that they may start their own business or find work that will place them on the path of becoming self sustaining.

We are doing all of this through the help of the local church and it's church members. Right now we have begun bringing 4 of these 20 families beyond feeding them. As God provides funds, we will continue to do more with each of the remaining 20 families.

I will write more about this program as it progresses, but just wanted clarify our goal here. We are not in Haiti to feed people or even to cure children of malnutrition. We are in Haiti to come along side the local church to disciple and share the Gospel. We are reaching them spiritually by intervening into their physical lives.

Now back to the KAH food and advocating:

Getting the KAH food to our ministry has been one of the toughest jobs for our team. We are grateful for our local community that comes together to package the food that will be set aside for our ministry. Packaging the food is the easiest part.

Getting it to our ministry is very complicated. Once the food is packaged, we need to take it to KAH warehouse where it is labeled for our ministry and then sent to a military base on the coast to be flown to Haiti. Once at the military base, it needs to pass an inspection first and then it will wait its turn to be loaded on an aircraft travelling to Haiti.

Once in Haiti, we have to line up an NGO to check it through customs and we need to rent a forklift to unload the pallets. We pay the NGO 10% of our boxes and the remaining boxes are ours!

Up until this point, there are a lot of email and phone call exchanges between all the parties involved to make sure we are still on track.

When our first shipment passed inspection, I was told that ours was the NEXT food that would travel to Haiti. This was great news until we learned that through a government budget cut, our food would  not leave the U.S. until the budget restraints were lifted. We rallied our followers and wrote to Senators and members of Congress.

Three weeks later, still no word and we begin to run out of food. We borrowed food from another ministry and agreed to pay them back when our food arrives in Haiti.

When Steve traveled to Haiti last week, they visited the ministry that checks our food in for us. Mickey asked me to check on our food because while visiting this ministry, they learned that ban had been lifted and the military is transporting food once again. This ministry had already received a shipment. Feeling bad that our food had not arrived yet, they loaned us enough to get us through another week.

Hmmm...I had a hunch that the food this ministry received was actually OUR food! Kind of comical to think that they were loaning us 'our' food! Mickey had no way of knowing at the time, so she didn't question anything.

I started making phone calls, shooting off emails, even writing FB messages to all involved in the U.S. side suggesting that this ministry unknowingly has our food!

I was told that it wasn't our food and that ours had not left the port yet. Yet, I knew deep down inside that this had to be our food because I was told that our food was the next in line to go just before the ban. I just had this gut feeling!

I pushed back! I sent a flurry of more emails and FB messages. We are once again running out of food!

Days went by and no one responded to me. I continued to not let this rest, making more phones calls and demanding a response.

Then someone finally responded stating that our food would most likely be on a flight May 18th! This was not going to work for us! That would mean another 3 weeks without food!

I suggested over and over again that maybe the food that our ministry partner received WAS our food. I asked them to please check again and confirm.

Then, earlier this week, I was copied on an email to the ministry from our contacts in the U.S. The email stated that after further investigation, indeed that is our food they have in their warehouse! They were asked to make arrangements to get us our food ASAP!

I forwarded the email to our team in Haiti and they attempted to make contact with the ministry, which is not always an easy task. Still unsuccessful with making contact, I woke up to an email yesterday morning that our food will be in PAP in one hour and we were suppose to come pick it up!

This is how things work in Haiti! I forwarded the email to Mickey who finally connected with this group. More than an hour had passed since I received the email, so there was no way we could rent a truck and be there within the time limit they gave us. Crazy! This is the kind of stuff we deal with all the time in Haiti!

We made other arrangements and we will have our food early next week.

My reason for sharing this story is not to complain about my work. But I share this story as an example of the extra miles you sometimes have to go in order to effectively advocate for something. Advocating is not as effective when you just simply share with others the cause and wait to see what happens. Advocating means to be actively working towards your goal.

Advocating takes perseverance, continuous follow up and no rest until the issue is resolved. In this case, it takes going with your gut and pushing through the barriers what ever it takes, even if it exhausts the heck out of you and makes you grow weary. Advocating sometimes makes you look like a crazy person.

But when it comes to a matter of life or death, you better believe that I will do whatever it takes to push through the spiritual warfare that could keep us from going forward with our work for His Kingdom.

So, when someone asks me, "What do you do for the ministry?" My answer most often is I advocate! I manage a lot of tasks and do a lot of busy work but overall my role is to Advocate for this ministry and the people in Haiti. It's the most rewarding, complicated and exhausting job, next to raising my four children, that I have every had in my life! I love my job!!

A Father to the fatherless

Steve is in Haiti this week on a vision planning trip with the president of our umbrella organization. This is an important trip for many reasons. They have important meetings this week with the pastor and leadership of the church in Haiti. We want the local church to own the work of the ministry in Haiti. So, it's crucial that we work in unity together.

As part of this vision planning trip, the team will be climbing the mountain to visit with and learn more about the needs of two families who are part of our Strong Families program. The mother serves as the head of at least one of these families. Most of our Medika Mamba families are missing a father figure. Most households are run by the mother.

I shared about our ministry at a local church's global missions meeting last night. One member on the board asked specifically about the fathers of these families. Having a discussion about the void of a father figure in the lives of these children, got me thinking about how this is an important void that our ministry can help fill.

Actually, this is why we are there - to share about Christ and to tell those who have not heard that there is a daddy who loves them and cares for them.

I can't help but think that God will use Steve and Tory today to show families a father's love. The fact that they care enough to travel all the way to Haiti and climb the mountain to understand their needs is enough for God to show these families how important they are to Him.

God is a father to the fatherless but only when we go there and share God's love through our love for these people, will they know the love of a father.

Then I was thinking about our sponsored child, Martial. He is a double orphan, loosing his mother most recently in the earthquake in 2010. This week, Steve has the opportunity to show the love of a father to Martial too.

Martial and I have had more time to build our relationship than him and Steve. He thinks of me as his mother because that is the kind of relationship that God has woven in our hearts. Here is what he wrote to me in a letter:

"I didn't think I would ever have a beautiful mom like you. I thank God because he gave you to me. I am not the same as others who don't have a mother because God gave me grace."

Here is a young teenage boy who has experienced the loss of both parents. He knows the pain and the void of these figures in his life. He has every right to think of himself as unlucky. But now that I am part of his life, he believes this sets him apart from others who don't have a mother.

My prayer this week is that Martial will feel the love of a father through his time with Steve. As much as it kills me not to be there with Steve this week, I know it's time for God to build their relationship now. I so wish we could be there 24/7 for this amazing boy who has changed our lives. But I believe, even with being several hundred miles apart, God can still use us to show the love of a parent in ways when we are not together.

I pray that God helps our ministry reach as many of the fatherless as possible, teaching them about a relationship they can have with a Father who loves them dearly.

I'm Back!

Oh my goodness! Have I neglected this blog or what?!

This is an attempt to get back on track and write more. If anyone is still or will continue to follow this blog, I promise to try harder to write.

Much has happened since I last wrote but I'll try to bring you up to speed in a nutshell.

It was one year ago January that we took a vision trip to Haiti, to meet with a pastor and his wife and to get a better understanding of their needs. They care for their 6 biological children and 14 more who were orphaned from the earthquake in January 2010. Since the earthquake, they have been living in their back yard at first in tents and now temporary shacks.

They do all their cooking outdoors on a 2 burner camp stove and eat as a family at a large picnic table, all on dirt floor.

I am so blessed to have met this family! They have become like family to me!

Since I last wrote an update, I traveled to Haiti for the third time last year as part of a medical team. We conducted a 3 day medical clinic out of the doors of the pastor's church. You can read about it here and here.

Have I mentioned the non-profit we created to come along side the pastor and his family? This time marks the one year anniversary of the creation of this ministry called Bread to the Nations. You can check out the website here. Go read about the opportunities God has put before us to minister to the people in Haiti.

Our medical clinic launched an on-going malnutrition treatment program. The program is called Medika Mamba, a peanut butter paste that is used to treat severe malnutrition in children up to age 5. It's called Plumpy Nut in Africa.

We have an American team serving on the ground and overseeing the ministry activities. They live in Haiti about 75% of the time and are committed to serving there long term.

Speaking of long term, when we entered into this work, we did it knowing that this could mean that we would be working there for many years.

Haiti hasn't always been where I envisioned God was going to use me. Serving in developing countries is messy and complicated. But serving in Haiti challenges of its own. When friends and family hear about our work in Haiti, they sometimes get skeptical and sometimes we are told to not go there or asked why there?

Well, it's because God has brought us there. We did not go searching for anything like this, God brought the need to us. After sponsoring the children in the pastor's home, God opened up ways from us to work in the  church community among the poorest of the poor. This area has been almost untouched by outside assistance. To not respond would be turning my back on God and turning my back on what we are all called to do.

If Bread to the Nations had not come alongside families in this church community, most likely many children and some mothers would be dead today from lack of food. In fact at least one mother informed us that she was dying of starvation until our team came along to support her with food. Several mothers that we support tried giving their children up to an orphanage but now can keep their children because they are receiving food from our ministry. In essence, he work of BttN has helped prevent orphans.

Our main purpose of serving there is to bring the Gospel to the people. We pray for people to be transformed and have new life in Christ through physical healing and Biblical teachings. We reach people for Christ through providing for their physical needs.

As a result, we have seen many miracles of lives bring transformed. We have had several mothers and older children come to know Christ through physical healing.

One of the greatest and most rewarding part of this work is to watch how God provides for all the ministry needs. If you would like to follow this journey, please join us on Facebook and/or leave me your email address (will not be published) and I will make sure to keep you in the loop.

At this time we are raising funds to build a home for the pastor, his wife and 20 children. We would really like to get them in the home before the rainy season, which is coming soon! Construction has begun for the first phase but we need more funds to complete this phase. You can follow the progress here.

Raising funds for our malnutrition treatment program is on-going. The more funds we raise, the more lives we can touch. Learn more about this program here. Right now we have a generous donor who will match up to $5,000 for donations towards this program. We only have a few days to raise this, so if you would like to double your tax free donation towards saving the life of a child, go to the BttN website and click on "support the ministry" located on he right sidebar.

I hope to write soon about the struggles and challenges yet rewards of serving in a developing country.

Thanks for reading this far!

I'm a mess...

The first time I traveled to Haiti in 2010, our group leader told us that his prayer was that God would mess us up. I just returned from my 3rd trip to Haiti. I left on short notice, with not much time to prepare mentally or physically. Something very unexpected happened to me - something I had not experienced before. I don't think any amount of preparation could have prepared me for this.

My first two trips, I came home physically exhausted, sleep deprived but after a few days, everything was back to normal. Not that I wasn't a changed person each time, because I did experience things that altered my perspective and shook me a little. But something happened this trip that completely wrecked me.

I went to Haiti to "help" my friend Mickey set up her house, to meet with a building contractor and hand out sponsor letters to the kids. The night we handed out the letters, one by one, we saw anxious faces turn to smiles as they learned more about their sponsored  families through a letter and a photo.

We brought hand made bracelets for each of the kids, so I was busy placing bracelets on each child and preparing them for a photo opportunity to bring back to their sponsors.

Martial, the boy our family chose to sponsor, was one of the last called to step forward for his letter. I didn't have any expectations on how he would react. I thought he probably would think it's cool that he knew his sponsor and that I was there at that moment to share the news with him. But I was too wrapped up in all the motions of presenting the letters to prepare for Martial's reaction. After he opened our letter, he did appear happy after he discovered that I was his sponsor. We took our picture together and made our way over to Firmin for translation of the letter.

While we waited our turn, I placed my arm around him, asked him if he was doing good and he instantly buried his head in my arms and began to cry. I was completely taken off guard by this reaction. It felt like something grabbed my heart with a firm grip and ripped it out at that moment. That's all I know how to describe how I felt. I was so touched by his response and the authenticity of the moment - feeling the joy of his heart being poured out through his tears and his emotions.

I was a wreck! I was also very upset with another young boy who happened to see our emotional moment together and decided to make fun of Martial for crying. Not good!

Martial let his guard down. He tried to hold back, especially after getting teased, but he could not contain the  joy and excitement he had knowing I was his sponsor. This boy had real genuine love for me and I fell in love with him. My heart fell for him the first time I heard his story but never did I expect this kind of instant bond between the two of us.

Martial lost his father when he was 3. He was with his mother during the earthquake when their house collapsed on the two of them. Martial and his mother were both buried in the rubble. They were found several hours later but his mother did not survive.

Martial is one of 14 children who has been taken into a home with already 6 kids. He lost everything he had the day of the earthquake. I can't even imagine the pain he has suffered through all of this and then to have to share a mother and father with 19 other sisters and brothers? I'm sure part of his response to me sponsoring him was an outlet for him to grieve his loss. I'm sure he felt safe letting his guard down, knowing there was a mother figure there to comfort him in his sorrow and to let him know it is OK to cry.

That night Mickey and I walked back to our house with our hearts bursting with emotions from the events that took place moments before. Our hearts were overflowing with joy and love for these kids. I shared through my own tears with Mickey how Martial cried. I also witnessed Mickey and her sponsored child's emotional moments together. We both held back tears, just talking about our evening.

I went to bed with my camera, flipping through the pictures from that evening and cried myself to sleep.

The rest of my time there, I spent as much quality time as I could with Martial. I was able to learn more about how he spends his time at the orphanage.

Let's just say, this young man really knows how to work hard! He cooks, cleans, hauls 5 gallon pails of water and does ALL of the ironing. He goes about his chores without complaining.

I recognize that if a child is going to be in an orphanage, this particular orphanage is about as good as an orphanage gets. The kids are well taken care of, they are fed, clothed and go to school. But what is lacking is one on one time with a parent. Pastor Firmin and his wife manage the household of 20 children well. However, they can't quite possibly give each child all they need emotionally.

I know that part of Martial's response to me was spurred on by his wanting a way to grieve his loss and his craving for a mother. So, I suppose you can say that he may have responded this way to just about anyone. However, as egocentric as this may sound, I believe that God sent ME to be the one for the very purpose of being there to comfort, bond with and grow my love for this young boy. Our family had chosen him but without him speaking the words to me, I know that based on the love he showed me, God had been preparing his heart for me. No doubt in my mind - God matched us together.

The day before I left, I was having a difficult time trying to figure out how I was going to tell this young man, that I shared so much with, that I was leaving the next day. On this day, he was a little guarded and slightly standoffish, so I suspected he already knew. Then Magalie asked me to go to market with her to buy chickens (live chickens!) and asked Martial to come with as well.

On our way to the market, I was fighting back tears thinking about how appreciative I was that Magalie asked Martial to join us. She did this for me. Once out the gate of the orphanage, Matial asked me through Magalie if I was ever going to be coming back to Haiti. My heart sunk. I can imagine this question took a lot for him to ask. Then he asked if I would come back in June with Mickey. Magalie shared with me that they had told him that I would be leaving the next day. I made a promise to him that I would be back but I didn't know when I would be back.

Then for the first time, we used Magalie to translate our feelings for each other back and forth. Through Magalie, he told me how he was very sad and that he would miss me very much. I told him the same and not to be too sad because I was going to come back. I was overwhelmed with emotions as we shared our feelings towards each other, both of us choking back tears. As hard as it was, however, I am grateful that we had this conversation together.

The day I left, I just happened to remember that Martial was making a bead necklace earlier in the week. It was the only one I remember him making. I pointed to my neck hoping he would understand. He instantly ran off and within seconds he came back with the necklace and placed it on my neck. We cried together at that moment and had one last picture taken together. The last good-bye, before I left the orphanage for the last time, was painful!

More than a week later, I am still a mess - painfully missing my "son" in Haiti, feeling full yet empty at the same time.

My friend Mickey stayed in Haiti for a few more days. She reported to me that Martial missed me a lot! I told her that I have been a mess since I have been back. Mickey understands - she was there and she knows all about how God can mess a person up.

Five remain!

It's been a very long time since I've written an update about anything. We have been overwhelmed with working through details to come along side one family in Haiti. I wrote about this family a couple blog posts ago, right after returning from our vision trip to Haiti. Fast forward to today and families from our community have joined efforts and set up a ministry to help support a vision that God is showing us.

Our ministry is called Bread to the Nations. For several weeks after returning from our trip to Haiti, we wavered back and forth about whether we should set up a non profit or not. Then out of the blue, the chairman of a local non profit called and invited us to share with their board about our ministry to see if it makes sense for us to become a ministry under their umbrella. Ultimately, the board approved us becoming a ministry under them, allowing us to use their 501c3 status and offer our donors tax exemption. We had a little paper work to fill out with the state and within a week, we were officially a new ministry.

Our first step to starting the ministry was to set up a sponsorship program. The purpose of the sponsorship program is not only to satisfy their basic needs but also to give families an opportunity to begin relationships with the kids through letter exchanging.

We kicked off our program and launched our new ministry at an event last Saturday. We now have 15 of the 20 kids sponsored with 5 waiting to be sponsored. $120 per month will fully sponsor one child. This amount covers food, water, school tuition, uniforms and supplies and clothes. You may also partially sponsor a child for $30 or $60 per month.

Two of the five children remaining are sisters. They lost their mother in the earthquake. While she was feeding her daughters, an iron fence fell and killed her. They are the sweetest little girls and it just kills me to know that they both are still waiting. Two children are the pastor's kids, his beautiful daughter who is gifted in music and loves to lead worship at church and his youngest son who is outgoing, cheerful and very active. The fifth child who waits is a precious young boy who has a sister in the orphanage as well. The two of them are now in their 4th orphanage and hopefully their last.

We are looking for those who are willing to take a leap of faith, join us in our ministry and make a difference in the life of one child for as little as $30 per month. If you think you may be that person, please leave your email in a comment (I will not publish any of these comments!) and I will email you more of the details.

Please consider this opportunity! We would really like to see all the kids find sponsors soon so we can move  onto the next phase, which is rebuilding their home.

Next Steps

We went to Haiti to learn more about an "orphanage". But when we got there, we soon discovered that it was not an orphanage but a very large family. Pastor F and his wife had 6 biological kids and have become a family of 22 since the earthquake after taking in 14 more children. I don't believe they had plans to run an orphanage or to grow their family before the earthquake. They were praying about coming along side kids in their neighborhood, but they didn't know the earthquake was going to happen, so they didn't plan for their life to be changed in this way.

However, right after the earthquake that left thousands of children without parents, they saw the need and they responded.

Not only have they taken in 14 extra children since the quake, but they have been living in temporary shelter, first in tents in their back yard and now in plywood structured, tarp covered, dirt floor rooms.Their home is not livable.

It felt a lot like camping to me. This style of living would make me very uncomfortable. I probably wouldn't last too long but this family of 22 has been living with their circumstances for 2 years!

The reason we called this a vision trip is because there was a strong possibility, after we learned more about this orphanage that we would, at the minimum, make some short term commitments to come along side them. Yes - it requires more accountability but it also serves a purpose that I can justify.

After returning to the U.S., I have been asked several times, "What did they have you do there?"

But our purpose for being there was not to "do" things for them. The purpose wasn't even for us to tell them what we think they need. The purpose of the trip was to first hear their dreams and vision for the kids, their orphanage and church. Then, decide how we can work together to help them achieve their vision.

We left telling them in the end that we would like to begin with helping them rebuild their home. There is an urgency to this - they run the risk of being shut down because of their dirt floors. We would also like to help them not ever run out of food again.

The interesting part is that Pastor F told us not to set a timeline on raising funds for a rebuilding project but to work with God's timing. He said that timelines are man's creation.

Since home, we have been in the process of having conversations and sharing their story with others. Soon we will be laying out a fundraising plan. Stay tuned!!

This is all very exciting stuff!!

Day Trip

Our first full day in Haiti, we took a one hour tap tap ride to a near by city. Our fearless leading and American pastor, Dan drove. The tap tap was owned by the Haitian pastor. Just before taking off, our team was briefed on the shape of the tap tap.

What we learned before we loaded into the back of this very sketchy form of transportation, is that when you let up on the gas, it dies. Also, there is no radiator cap and at least one of the wheels had only 3 lug nuts. Oh - I guess I didn't know about the lack of nuts on the wheels until we arrived safely back home that day - one of several times God spared my anxiety.

We had plans to use the tap tap more throughout our time there but after our Friday day trip, the tap tap no longer started for us. We found out, however that the day after our team left, it miraculously did start. I believe God's hand of protection was on us.

The purpose of our one day trip was to spend time with a friend who runs an HIV clinic. Our team arrived at her gates at the same time as two young men arrived asking to be tested. She has these simple tests that work much like a pregnancy test. She takes a small sample of the patient's blood, puts it on a strip where we watch the line disappear if it is negative for HIV. Very interesting stuff.

After she took care of her two patients, we walked down the street with her to purchase a few eggs from a small store. Then we returned to her home for a spaghetti lunch and learned more about her ministry and the surrounding area.

Next, she walked us to a nearby orphanage where dear friends of ours are adopting 2 girls. Our team was able to spend some time loving on the children and bringing gifts from their adoptive families. Most of the children in this orphanage, all but 3 (I believe) will be joining their forever families very soon. I can't wait to see them thrive and grow once home.

From there, we traveled to another orphanage run by an American couple. They had 56 children, some of which were available for adoption as well. Our team was very impressed by the set up and management of this orphanage. The American couple felt the Lord's prompting to sell everything, move to Haiti and take in kids. They arrived 4 years ago with just a few bags and very little funds, living in very primitive conditions, trying to navigate their way into the Haitian culture.Hearing their story and the obstacles they had to overcome to get them this far, made my jaw drop a few times. Truly a great example of living by faith.

We had plans to visit one more orphanage but we didn't have enough time. Pastor Dan decided that it would be best that we get back before the sun sets. Sounded like a good plan to me given the shape of our transportation. We did make it back safely to the orphanage and guest house that evening. PTL!!

The orphanage

Our main reason for our vision trip to Haiti was to focus on an orphanage that our family has been advocating for a few months. We first learned about this orphanage through a connection I have in Haiti. Steve and I eventually came to the realization that if we were going to continue a relationship with this orphanage, we would need to plan a trip to visit the orphanage.

Fast forward and now we are home from one of the most amazing and challenging experiences of my life. I'll attempt to describe some of our experiences. However, I remember riding down the mountain in the tap tap on the edge of a ravine when one team member said to me, "There is really no way to describe this, is there?" It's true that you almost need to be there to really understand and appreciate the complexity of it all.

Our first day began at 3:00 a.m., when our team members woke up to prepare for our flight to Miami and then onto PAP, Haiti. By the time we landed in PAP at 4:00 p.m., we were exhausted. At the PAP airport, we were mobbed by the official men helping with luggage.We tried our best to pile our bags in one area and guard them. It took all the strength we could muster to load our luggage onto 4 carts, push our way through the crowd and head out the door.

We were followed by the men in red shirts who insisted on helping us. I had two men with both sets of hands on my luggage even though I really didn't need their help. It was overwhelming to say the least.

I was relieved to see 3 men, Pastor Dan, our interpreter Pierre and Pastor F. waiting for us at the end of our road. After a quick greeting, they guided us to the rented tap tap and Trooper that was brought to transfer our team and our luggage.

We continued to be overwhelmed by the men with the red shirts, who were forcing us to allow them to "help". But through the confusion, we all managed to get the luggage and ourselves loaded into the two vehicles. The men from our team road in the back of the tap tap with Pierre and our luggage and the women road with the pastor in his vehicle. I must say I was very anxious about being separated by my husband and each time I lost sight of their tap tap, I grew even more anxious. We traveled through rush hour traffic for a little over one hour before we arrived safely to the gate of the orphanage.

Once inside, our tired bodies were greeted by several smiling faces, hugs and kisses. The warm welcome made me feel instantly at home and for the first time comfortable since we landed in Haiti.

The pastor's wife brought a meal of spaghetti to a picnic table. We each served ourselves spaghetti and sauce from large sized pencil containers used for the serving bowls. I thought to myself, what a very practical use of a pencil case. The food was yummy, seasoned with Haitian spices.

The pastor was aware of our team's concern about food safety, so before we began to eat, he told us not to worry about the food and that being there is doing God's will and when we do God's will, God will protect us.    He assured us that we would not get sick. Somehow I knew that through his confidence and assurance, that the Lord was speaking these words of protection through the pastor. He prayed a blessing over the food and we all ate. Other than some minor tummy issues that were quickly cured with pepto, non of the team members had any digestive problems. Based on the courses we ate, there is non doubt that God's protection was covering our health. More about the food in another post =)

First of all, our team quickly learned that this was not an orphanage at all. It was a family - a very large family! - a mother and a father with 19 children, with the addition of 1 to make it 20 on the day we left.

We could not tell the difference between the kids in the "orphanage" and the pastor's biological children. All were equally cared for, loved for and treated like family.

This is the same orphanage that I wrote about several months ago that has gone on several occasions without food for days at a time. They live in temporary shelters on dirt floor. They have a two burner stove that runs on propane. There was a makeshift bathroom in the back of the compound and a rooster roaming the grounds. It felt like camping to me.

All the kids except the pastor's children were orphaned due to the earthquake. The pastor's family grew by 13 children after the quake. Some children lost both parents, some lost one parent but the living parent is not able to provide financially because of the devastating affects of the earthquake. Despite their living conditions and their tragedies, they are all happy! It's evident that they have the joy of Christ reigning in their hearts.

On Saturday night, we threw a party for the kids. The pastor's wife made a big feast. There was popcorn, ice cream, soda and trail mix. We brought each of the kids a gift from the U.S. The youth from our church raised $400 to purchase these gifts and other items needed by the orphanage. They also wrote cards with their pictures attached. The night of the party, the pastor read the cards to the kids as they sat attentive around the picnic table excited to meet new friends from the U.S. through a picture and a card.

The next day when we were looking over the cards with the kids, they remembered the ages and names of their new friends from afar. It was the beginnings of new relationships forming.

On Monday we got the pleasure of visiting the kids' school. It was a school with 400 children. The classrooms were divided by half walls. We followed the principal from one classroom to the next, seeing familiar faces. Each time we visited a classroom with the pastor's kids, each of the kids stood up and waved. In two separate classrooms, the pastor had 5 kids!

After our tour, the principal brought us to his office. This was a very special moment for our team to witness and one I will never forget.

In Haiti there are only private schools. There are registration fees and monthly tuition expenses. Despite not having the funds to enroll the kids in school this school year, the principal gave the pastor grace and allowed the kids to begin school with the expectation that the pastor would pay sometime during the school year.

Having any kind of debt weighs heavy on the pastor because the Bible discourages debt. But when you experience times when you are unable to feed a family, there certainly isn't money available for school tuition fees.

Hearing of this need, friends of ours gave us the cash that would cover the total school fees outstanding for this school year.

So in the principals office, our team was able to look on as the pastor paid off his debt to the school. We saw the records of the loans and amounts he still owed. Then we witnessed the principal cancel all the outstanding debt on paper. It was truly a monumental moment.

This experience was among many that our team was able to witness first hand the pastor giving us a reason to trust him.

There is so much corruption in Haiti. Many people are hesitant to help financially because they are fearful of whether the money would be used for the right reasons. But this orphanage was different. Our instincts told us that this is a pastor we could partner with and trust. He was the real deal!

We have an opportunity here to be used by God to make a difference in the lives of those who are the future of Haiti. What a blessing to be able to partner with a Godly family with the right motives and the best interest of the children in mind.

I will write again about the next steps that we are pursuing with our new friends. It's exciting! God is good all the time!

Home from Haiti

We are home from our vision trip to Haiti. I find myself short on words to describe the experience. When someone asks "how was it?" I don't know where to begin or if I get started, I don't know where to end.

For now, I will start by saying, this was a different experience than my last trip to Haiti. Last time, we traveled with a group of 16 of us. Everywhere we went, we had at least 4 translators and a AIM team leader with our group. I had no fear. Other than a couple rainy nights in a wet tent, I hardly ever felt uncomfortable.

This time, we traveled as a team of six. We had our fearless leader, Pastor Dan with us most of the time and part of the time one translator. This time, I felt like little mice running around Haiti, feeling a bit more fearful and more uncomfortable. This time we immersed ourselves slightly more into the culture.

We went with an itinerary. Our days were all mapped out. However, after the second full day, God took our itinerary away - He had other plans.

We were scheduled to take the tap tap up in the mountains to visit Pastor F's church Sunday morning. This was going to be one of the highlights of our trip and an important excursion because we are looking at helping Pastor F build a church and rebuild his orphanage - pretty much the focus of our trip. Him and his family were looking forward to our presence at the Sunday morning service.

But God had other plans. The tap tap would not start that morning. After prayer and discussion, we decided to walk to our interpreter, Pierre's church. Once there, we were able to catch the last half hour of his service. Usually a worship service in Haiti lasts about 3 - 4 hours, so we were very late. Despite being late, Pierre was thrilled and surprised to see our team. After the service, we walked Pierre home, met his wife and child and prayed over them in their home. We were blessed! It was the right thing for our team to be doing Sunday morning. From that point on, Pierre and his family will always have a special place in each of our hearts.

The pastor and his family were so disappointed that we did not make it to their church that morning. However, in Haiti, there are always several opportunities to attend church throughout the week, so we decided we would rent a tap tap and go Monday evening.

Now being out in the mountains in the evening hours gave me slight hesitation but I thought well, the pastor would discourage us if he thought there was any danger.

So our team set off up the mountain side in a tap tap. Our security was the pastor's 10 year old daughter and 12 year old son. The tap tap was able to bring us only as far as to a bridge that crossed over a river.

10 year only "L" took Steve's hand and gave him a reassuring smile as she led us all across the rickety bridge and up the mountainside through what appeared to be the poorest of the poor in Haiti. Walking a narrow path, past tarp roofed homes and many many stares, was probably one of the most uncomfortable moments of our trip.

After about a 5 minute walk, we arrived to the temporary church structure. There was no electricity in sight anywhere around us as the sun was setting. But the church had a generator, which produced light and sound, so it was like a little "city on a hill" or a light in much darkness.

Outside the church, we saw poverty at it's worst in Haiti. Also, I'm quite sure many of the people we saw had never seen a white person.

The service we attended was a prayer service. They prayed for our team. We sang worship songs. We were blessed and felt welcomed.

During the entire 2 hour service, I had the pleasure of holding the youngest member of the orphanage, little "B", who snuggled into my shoulder and napped. "B" stole our hearts. She is a gorgeous 10 month baby girl with a beautiful personality. As I was holding her close and snuggling her tight, "L", grabbed by elbow to get my attention, pointed to a woman in the next row over and said, "B's mommy!" At the same time, B's mommy was looking right at us!

This was B's birth mom looking at the white woman snuggling with her baby. It was the most awkward moment for me of our trip so far. The rest of the service, my heart broke for a mother who could not provide for her child and made the ultimate sacrifice to give her a better life. I had heard her story already... 5 other kids at home, not knowing where their next meal will come from, all suffering greatly from malnutrition. I wondered what was going through her mind.

When I wasn't thinking about B's birth mom, I was praying that somehow that tap tap would be parked right outside the church so that we didn't have to walk that crazy and scary strip back over the bridge at night.

Well, God answered my prayers. The tap tap was backed up to the church. I found out later that evening that I wasn't the only one praying for that to happen.

Outside in the tap tap as little B was passed around, her birth mother approached our team. Pastor F's wife, introduced us to her. She greeted us each with a gentle hand shake and a warm smile. She also got to hold B, hug her and snuggle with her. It truly was an interesting moment to watch this interaction. Life seemed so unfair at that moment but yet she was happy for her daughter's life.

Once our team was all settled in the tap tap, our driver began heading down the mountain the other direction, crossing over a huge rock pile first. Our trip down the mountain was an adventure. Let's just say, we were literally on the edge of a cliff and the road had so many pot holes and was so uneven that I'm quite sure it would not even meet the standards of a low maintenance road in the U.S.

But we survived to tell the story and joke about it later. The entire trip was full of adventure. This is just one story of many.

Some of what we experienced and learned while in Haiti is so terribly heartbreaking. There are children who need to be rescued from bondage. Slavery and trafficking of children is alive and thriving in Haiti. Being aware of this is one thing but actually being a witness to this injustice, has rocked my world.

The culture there is one that's difficult to understand. If a child is late for school, they get a beating. Physical punishment of children is quickly handed out and widely accepted. I stood by a Haitian woman who was shouting at a 12 year old girl with a strong hold on her chin and arm. I asked her what she was saying to the girl and in her broken English to me, she said, "I told her she is nothing but trouble, that she is a bad bad girl!" This was as a result of the 12 year old girl refusing to stay with her because she wanted to come with me. She was treated horribly. But God is good and this 12 year old is now in a safe haven. I'll share more about her story in another post.

I could go on and on because there are so many more stories. I guess that means many more blog posts on the horizon.

I can't wait to tell you about the orphanage where we spent most of our time, building relationships and making forever friends. Another blog post coming soon!

Turning a New Leaf

We had a great 2011!

I'll be brief because I realize that it's been a very long time since I have blogged.

Olivia took up a new passion. She is now taking theater classes and hopes to be in a local production this summer. Avery continues to work the mats and the bars in her gymnastics classes. Lauren is deep into the ski season, actually it is almost over and they are now just able to ski on snow. Samson LOVES his preschool and music classes. He also continues to impress us with his dance moves, mostly break dancing.

In 2011 our family also became part of a new church plant in our community. We have been blessed with many new friendships.

After several months of advocating for an orphanage in Haiti and almost throwing in the towel, I am now taking a team to the orphanage for a vision trip. I had the opportunity to share their story in church one Sunday morning and after the service I was overwhelmed by the number of families who wanted to come along side me. 10 days after I spoke, we had airline tickets purchased for a team of 6 of us heading there TOMORROW! After we booked the flights, we had only 6 weeks to prepare. I'll write about our trip when I return.

At the same time we were making plans to travel to Haiti, Steve was wrapping up his most recent employment with a local printer. He is one of the 6 going to Haiti. What another blessing to be able to share this experience with him.

Please pray for our team going to Haiti, the people we will be coming in contact with and for our families who will be waiting for us back home.

Steve has been in transition for at least a couple months already, giving him opportunity to be home more, which has been great for family bonding. We are closer as a family than we have ever been. He hadn't realized how much he was missing at home until now.

It's always exciting to turn a new leaf. The adventure in not knowing the next steps can be exciting too but also a little scary. We don't know what the next thing is for our family and sometimes we can grow impatient waiting to find out. But we are at peace knowing that God's plan is the best plan for our lives and his plans are well worth waiting for.

Expressions from a four year old

I haven't blogged for a very long time, so for now, I thought I would share some cute expressions from Samson's perspective.

When we were driving in the car together, just out of the blue Samson said, "I want to milk a cow!"
First I laughed because I thought, where did that come from? There was not a cow in sight and he all of a sudden wants to milk a cow? Truth be told, I've always wanted to milk a cow too. We may have to find a dairy farm soon to satisfy this urge.

One morning when we were in a hurry, I told Samson, "Quick! Get your shirt on! We have to go now!" Samson's reply back? "I will go as quick as a dog chews." I don't have any idea where that came from.

One day when he was racing his sister Avery upstairs Samson said, "The last one up has to eat cheap candy corn." This statement in itself is bizarre but to add to that, it wasn't even Thanksgiving season when you may have candy corn around in the house. He has one goofy imagination.

The other day, when he stepped out of the bathtub, he had a wet washcloth wrapped around his waist and said, "Mommy! I look like Jesus!"

We are also going through a phase of making up jokes. I remember when my girls were the same age and loved to make up jokes. They have all told jokes that don't make any sense and are so silly that they make us laugh anyway. But I don't know if they know they are not really that funny.

That's all I will share for now. My next post may be titled something like, "Turning a new leaf" because our family is waiting on the next thing. We know what ever lies ahead, we are going to be blessed but I have to admit, I am a bit fearful of the unknowns. I'll update soon!

Our $2 Day

Almost half the world lives on less than $2 per day. A few organizations put together a challenge for families and individuals to try for just one day to feed our families on $2. Yesterday was the day.

When I first saw this challenge, I had "good" excuses to exclude our family:  Lauren is in Nordic skiing and has vigorous workouts after school; my younger girls receive snacks during school and I couldn't ask them to turn down the snack. Also, kids would make fun of them if they brought a very small sack lunch. How would they explain to their friends this weird thing that their family decided to do?

What about Samson? He has already experienced severe hunger in his life. How could I expect him to eat so little for one day?

This challenge just was not a fit for our family.

Then the closer we got to the day of the challenge, I realized more and more that my excuses don't hold any water. The whole purpose of the challenge is to know how it feels to be in half of the world's population shoes just for one day.

The challenge is suppose to help us feel the same pain that a mother feels when they can't provide an adequate nutrient filled diet for their children. It must be one of the most difficult things to watch your child's health diminish, to watch them grow weak because you can't provide enough food to sustain them.

So, I decided that our family can do this. I started planning, like many parents all over the world plan each day, how I would provide for my family for this one day. I decided that I would eat less so that my kids could  have more. I also made the decision to exempt Samson from the challenge because I don't want him to experience hunger again.

Days leading up to yesterday, I was beginning to feel what it's like to be a mother on a limited food budget. I told myself, how can I not experience this for just one day when mothers all over the world endure this challenge without a choice every single day.

I designed a menu. I did sacrifice my portions for my children. I packed a meager lunch for each of the girls. Without a complaint, they left the house with their lunch and agreed to not take the snack for the day. They had more confidence in themselves that they could do this than I had in them.

When I picked up the little girls from school, they were hungry but did not complain. Olivia shared with me that she explained the whole thing to her class. They asked her many questions. This sounded like it was a great learning opportunity for Olivia and her classmates.

Last night at the dinner table, Olivia thanked God for bringing our family through this experience. She was grateful!

I worried the most about Lauren. She is in Nordic skiing and she always needs a healthy snack after school to get her through practice. Yesterday was one of the most difficult practices they have had this year and she did it with no snack and very little to eat at lunch.

Her friends weren't as understanding or kind about it. They actually tried bribing her with food all during the lunch period. She said they thought it was weird. But she did not succumb to pressure and stuck with the challenge.

Lauren also had a AP Biology test today. Last night as she was going to her room to study, she looked weak and tired. I felt horrible for her and offered her more to eat so she could have the strength to study well for her test. But she turned down more food by saying, "kids who eat like this everyday must have to study for big tests."

When I put my little ones to sleep last night, I had a pounding headache. Avery also complained of feeling faint and weak. But I knew all of our headaches and our weakness would be gone in the morning. I knew that today we could eat a "normal" days worth of food and that we would all be fine.

It pained me to think about families who put their kids to bed hungry, wake up hungry and go day after day on little to eat. How selfish of  me to at one time think that we could not do this even for one day.

Sometimes I convince myself that I am doing enough to fight injustice in this world. I have even asked God to release me of some responsibilities because at times I feel overwhelmed.

But in reality, I know I can do more. I don't really believe that God ever says,
"That's enough! You are doing too much!"

Sometimes I think we have to put ourselves in someone's shoes even if it is just for one day to give us the motivation to respond. We need to be stretched and challenged otherwise we run the risk of becoming desensitized by the needs around us.

Also, when we make it less about ourselves and more about Him, I know we can do so much more. Admittedly, I fear asking for more. That seems risky too.

However, I rather ask for more and take the risk of God using me to make a difference in the world than to do nothing and risk missing out on the adventure God has planned for me.

We love you Grandma June

I lost my sweet, beautiful grandma June on November 1st. I love her so much and will miss her dearly. You know the story in the Bible when a crowd gathers around Jesus and the adults push there way to him but Jesus commands, "Let the little children come to me!" This story shows clearly that our Lord looks out for the little ones.

Well, this is the same image my grandma has left with me. She had a Christ-like character when it came to loving children. Wheelchair bound, she welcomed sometimes 2 children at a time to her lap and would adorn them with many hugs and kisses, telling them how much they had grown and how much she loved them.

The first time she met Samson, she was 89 years old and I was unsure how she would respond to him. But you know, that's another thing I will always remember about my grandma...she did not judge others. Never once did I ever hear her speak poorly about anyone else. She always thought of others first and she always had high regards for each person she ever came in contact with.

She embraced Samson with as much love and affection as she offered to his sisters. In fact at times she seemed to favor him. While other women about her same age were asking where he came from, calling him a "darky" and asking how I know he doesn't have aids, my grandma loved him unconditionally.

My grandma was also very generous despite having very little. When she lived in her assistant living place, the personnel would bring her to the local dollar store where she would buy little figurines to hand out to her visitors. The kids have several of these figurines.

Each time we visited, she wanted to give something to the kids, a piece of candy, an angel figurine or a small stuffed animal. She would look around her room at her very few possessions and come up with something that she could offer to each of the kids.

She lived to be 91 years old. The last week of her life, she was admitted to the hospital, placed on hospice and on a high dose of morphine.

During this week, she was visibly in a lot of pain. One day, on a whim, I decided to take Samson and drive to the hospital to see her.

She was not opening her eyes any longer and was unable to speak but when I held her hand, it was very evident that she was coherent. She responded to my talking by squeezing my hand and trying very hard to open her eyes and to talk.

After some time, I held Samson up to her and he gave her a kiss on her forehead and then he sang a few songs to her, like the ABC's and "I'm Bringing Home My Baby Bubble Bee". This obviously brought pure joy to her heart. She responded in such a way to Samson's presence I thought that for a moment she was about to open her eyes and speak. She grasped his little hand tightly into hers, not letting anything hold her back from showing her affection towards Samson one last time.

It is the hardest thing on earth to say good-bye to someone you know you will not see again on this side of heaven.

But I left that day with a happy heart too. I was happy that she would soon be free of her pain and in the arms of Jesus. What a comfort to know that my grandma knew where she was going and she knew Jesus.

She went home to be with Jesus that same evening.

We will miss you grandma June!

Really Cool New Shirts!

We have the new Bring Love In T-shirts in the store now! Go check them out!

All proceeds go to help orphan and widows in Ethiopia.

Coming soon: some really amazing metal artwork. Make sure to check back often for more new items

More than we can handle

You know the statement, "God never gives you more than you can handle?" Well, I share Katie Davis' perspective on this statement in that God absolutely, intentionally gives us more than we can handle.

Katie states that, He gives us more than we can handle "because this is when we surrender to Him and He takes over, proving Himself by doing the impossible in our lives."

Right now I am faced with the "impossible" because of my limited knowledge. I feel so directionless as an advocate for an orphanage in Haiti. But Katie's words encouraged me once again that God can turn this situation around. That maybe He is overwhelming me with the task so that I can die to myself and need more of Him.

I have followed up with the business man who showed interest in learning more about how he can help. He is still "thinking" about it. And although I have not given up hope, God has directed me to keep advocating and not to wait on this man.

There is an organization that I have been communicating with and they are interested in coming along side me in efforts to help the orphanage. They have people on the ground in Haiti and they are an organization that I have grown to know and trust the people who would work with me.

Several months ago, they entered into a very messy situation with another orphanage in the same city. There is evidence that this orphanage has been trafficking children and harvesting their organs among many other reported abuses. This has taken much of their time and energy.

Therefore, we will have to wait, which I'm fine with because it's important that the 75 children of this orphanage are freed of their bondage first. They are working on getting the orphanage shut down and then they will assist in placing each child in a safe and trusting orphanage.

In the meantime, they asked me to pull together a critical mass of people to help sponsor the children in Pastor Firmin's orphanage. I have pictures, names and ages of the children. I'm working on pulling together a monthly amount that would support each child.

At this time, I don't know how I'm going to present this or how I'm going to manage donors but I know in time God will show me how. Please pray for each of these 17 children. Pray whether God wants you to sponsor one of them. Together, we can make a difference for 17 children who desperately need our prayers, support and encouragement. Let's watch God figure this one out!

His Work

I started reading the book, "Kisses from Katie". I am so inspired by Katie's life and the experiences she shares loving the people in Uganda. If you don't follow Katie's story, you may want to check out her blog. Her writing will fill you up.

In her book, she wrote this:

"For years before I went to Uganda, I had fantasized about doing something incredible for God and others; what I have learned is that I can do nothing incredible, but as I follow God into impossible situations, He can work miracles in and through me."

I LOVE this statement. We cannot by our own strength do anything great for God. But instead, God can do amazing things through us when we let Him use us.

For a little over a year our family along with friends of our family have come along side the Benkert family serving in Ethiopia, first through Drawn From Water and now with Bring Love In. We have been running the on-line store.

The Benkerts have thanked us over and over again for our support. But really, it should be us thanking them for this opportunity. I personally do not feel qualified or worthy of this work.

And when my friend Rachael and I sat down to design the new Bring Love In t-shirt, I admit, my creative juices were not flowing. They were interrupted by thoughts going through my head, like "why am I chosen for this work?" "Aren't there others who are far more qualified than I?"

Like Katie, I have always wanted to do something great for God. But when we let Him do the work, He can do more than we can imagine.

I can be creative but I have limited software skills and knowledge. This is where Rachael fits in - she has experience with design work and the software.

So, the two of us sat there and at the end of our time together, we came up with something very simple and basic. We forwarded this to the Benkerts for approval and they "loved" it.

Now, I know there is nothing wrong with simple and basic - I'm slowly learning that simple is best in life. However, I just was not sure about the design, like we hadn't put enough effort into it and did not give it our best shot. Maybe the Benkerts were just being kind by saying they loved it.

Rachael shared the same feelings as I. She expressed that given the time to focus and concentrate, she maybe could come up with something different.

Really when I think back, we were trying hard to come up with something amazing but maybe we weren't letting God in on the project. Plus we both allowed our own insecurities be a barrier to God's work.

I prayed that God would work through her and help her design something amazing - a design that would be unmistakably perfect for the new t-shirt. I am far from perfect but I know that God can use us to perfect His work.

The next day I received a text from Rachael to check my email. I went to my computer and downloaded several new files to my computer and what I pulled up were the most incredible design ideas for the Bring Love In t-shirts.

Around the same time, Bring Love In showcased their new leather cuff bracelets.

The new t-shirt design ideas included a design that resembled the design on the bracelets! At first glance, one would think that they were designed together. But this was not Rachael's plan to design them this way - God just made it happen this way. This is the design the Benkerts chose as their favorite!

We are so close to adding the new t-shirts to the store. We are so excited to see the finish product and we know you will like them. Plus this time we are offering both a men's and women's shirt. So, keep checking the store, it will be there soon - I promise!

I know that Rachael would agree with me that all of this is God's workmanship. We can not take any credit. I am so blessed to have this work - it brings pure joy in my heart just knowing that the work God has given me will help give orphans and widows a forever family.

Believe

Our family has been blessed to come along side a couple ministries serving orphans in developing countries.

One of those ministries, serving in Ethiopia, is called Bring Love In. I have written about them before. They are serving widows and orphans in a unique way, bringing them together in forever homes. I will share more about our involvement and the ministry at another time. Check out their new on-line store. They are selling really cool handmade leather cuff bracelets. They had 300 made for the first run and they are already SOLD OUT! But more are being made, so if you want one, still place your order - you just may have to wait a little longer.

The other project that we are involved in is coming along side an orphanage in Haiti. As many of you know, Lauren and I traveled to Haiti about a year ago. While there we made some very special connections and have continued to build relationships with these connections via email or phone.

I knew that before I made the decision to go on this Short Term Mission trip that I wanted to stay involved and  help in some way. So, I have maintained my connections and for the past several months, I have been advocating for this small orphanage located in the city of Carrfour. The orphanage is run by Pastor Firmin and his wife. They have 5 children of their own and have taken in 12 children orphaned from the earthquake.

Their home was destroyed by the earthquake and they now sleep in temporary shelters on their house property. Since the earthquake, they have had only one team from the US visit them.

One of the last update I received was heartbreaking. They had been without food for several days and they do not have the funds to enroll the children in school this fall. This is highly concerning because as you all may know, education is the ticket to survival in a developing country.

There are days, especially when I hear reports of families in the community having to give up their children or children starving to death, I feel overwhelmed and discouraged. Honestly, there are days I wish I could just say, "I can't do it" and walk away. That's hard to admit. But a couple weeks ago I spent 10 days in a row with thoughts of giving up. 10 days where I was numb. 10 days someone was waiting for me to respond.

I prayed during these 10 days but still I could not feel what direction God wanted me to go with this project. It became such a weight on my life. I felt like the future of this unknown to the the rest of the world orphanage all in my hands. I came so close to not responding. I wanted to pretend that I did not know about them. I know this sounds harsh but after being unsuccessful with soliciting help from those who do know, I was feeling a little beaten down. Discouragement set in and took control of me.

Just when I was about ready to give up, I read something about fasting. It was at that time that I decided that I had not done everything I could. It took all the strength that I could muster out of poor discouraged little me and I fasted and prayed for Pastor Firmin's orphanage.

I fasted and prayed for 2 days. On the second day of my fasting, I received a call from my contact with an update. This is the same person who had been waiting 10 days for me to respond. He informed me that the orphanage had been without food for 3 days and on the 4th day, they were given food. The day that they ate was the first day of my fasting.

He also had another praise to report: the school principal at the school the children attend has agreed to let the children begin the school year despite not having their tuition payment.

I went from feeling alone in this battle to understanding that God has been there the whole time.

I have heard that the combination of fasting and praying are the only way to unleash certain demons. So I consulted with a very wise and Godly man, someone I can trust will speak straight truth. He said that he believes that fasting and praying does not unleash demons but instead fasting and praying unleashes "UNBELIEF". There is more that I learned from this conversation but that was the basis of it.

Through my feelings of discouragement, I started to lose faith and disbelieve. But through the combination of fasting and praying, I have truly seen miracles.

And there is more...
Steve and I have been discussing a long term plan to help Pastor Firmin and his community sustain themselves. We have some ideas but it will involve a lot of time and resources.

So this week, just one day after the amazing update from my contact person, Steve just happened to share something about this orphanage to someone during a business lunch meeting. This person has asked for more information about the orphanage and will consider financially coming along Steve and I to achieve this long term plan. We have submitted all the information we have and now we are waiting on a response. So, please all you prayer warriors out there, please pray that God will work through this business man's heart to help bring down the financial barrier that is keeping us from accomplishing a long term goal for Pastor Firmin's community.

I share this story about praying and fasting, not to draw attention to myself but only to show you how God really does work miracles when we believe.

I think about how close I was to throwing in the towel on this project. Just think how much I would have missed out if I would have chosen to limit God.

So, my questions to you is, "Are there things that you have thought about turning your back to because it's just too much?" "Are you limiting God to just the things that you can physically and/or financially handle?" "Or, are you trusting and believing in Him to carry out the work that He has planned in advance for you to do?"

Really ask yourself these questions when you are at a crossroads. Because once you turn your back, God cannot use you. Are you allowing doors to close? Or are you persevering through the doors that are open maybe even just a crack to allow God to accomplish more through you?

Water

You hear about families in developing countries walking miles and miles to fetch dirty water for drinking, cleaning and bathing. This water contains bacteria that can cause diseases and death in children. But without water, we can die too. It's an unfair predicament that millions face each day.

Samson's birth family does not have access to clean drinking water. When we talk about his life before he joined our family, the fact that some people live without a clean drinking source is unthinkable to him.

He asks me questions like, "Well, why don't we give them some of our water? We have plenty." It's not that simple but yet he does notice our abundance.

And then just a couple days ago, he asked, "If my birth family doesn't have clean drinking water, why don't they go somewhere that does?"

Based on our conversations and all his questions, what he wants for his birth family more than anything is to see them some day have access to clean water.

This past summer when we got together with my friend Tanya and her sons, Samson's buddies from his orphanage, she told me about a triathlon that she was part of to raise money for a water project in our boys' home town Mudula, Ethiopia.

Samson was born in a village outside of Mudula. At this time I am still unsure of whether this fresh water project will reach his particular village but after communicating back and forth with one of the organizers of the project, I have learned that there is a strong chance that his birth family's village will benefit.

When completed, this project is said to reach 10,000! That's 10,000 people who currently drink from an unsanitary source; that means hundreds of women and girls who no longer have to walk for hours to fetch water from a stream but now can spend that time in school instead; that means diseases and death will be cut down dramatically. And for children like Samson, this is a big wish come true!

If you are interested in financially coming along side this water project, go HERE to make your donation. I like my friend Shannon's idea and that is, to challenge each of you to give the amount that your water bill is each month. Is it $50, $100, $200? What are you willing to pay to have clean water each month? Can you donate that amount today?

His First "First Day"

I just returned home from dropping Samson off at his first day of preschool. As you may recall, he went to preschool last year but didn't start on the first day of preschool so this is his first "First Day" of school experience.

Last year my emotions were filled with excitement for him. I was persistent and fought for him to be in preschool last year. So, when he was finally able to start in October, I was ready to let him go and experience a world outside of our home. I was not nervous or sad really. Just excited.

This morning I learned that there is something about being there the first day of school that can trigger different emotions.

After we pulled into the parking lot, we watched a father walk his son hand in hand across the street, stop for a moment in front the school bell for a photo opportunity and then proceed into the school.

Then, we watched another mom and dad escort their son into the school shortly after. I thought to myself, two boys Samson doesn't know but will soon be his new friends.

We found his locker right away and as he was taking off his jacket, I looked towards the door of the preschool and saw another dad who was familiar to me holding his apprehensive son's hand. Upon seeing Samson, the dad said, "Look! There is Samson!" in hopes to bring comfort to his son.

As we approached the sign in table outside the classroom door, we were warmly greeted by another familiar face, the preschool teacher. We watched on while yet another little boy signed his name with his parents standing along side him.

I know this family enough to know that this is their first child they would be sending off to school. I could see on her face that the mother was at peace about letting go of her son. The father, on the other hand was trying so hard to hold back his emotions. I almost lost it myself when I heard him choking back tears as he came away from the sign in table with his son and gave him one last hug before he vanished into the classroom.

Inside the classroom, I snapped a couple pictures of Samson with each of his teachers. He took one quick look around the room, gave me one last hug and was off to do their first project for the day.

His teacher handed me a note as I left the classroom. When I walked out, I ran into a family I know bringing their son to preschool. The dad was taking all kinds of pictures and had a huge smile on his face, obviously so proud of his son.

There were so many sweet moments, watching proud fathers with their sons, taking pictures, giving them one last hug before their first day, comforting them. Watching these fathers is what stirred my emotions this morning. To see their love and care for their sons in action was so touching. There were a few moms there too but it was the fathers who were nervous and emotional. I tried to be strong and thought I was doing a good job holding in my emotions until I got to my van and read this note from the teacher:

"I gave  you a little wink and a smile as yo entered my room today.
I know how hard it is to leave and simply walk away.


You've been together for several years. You've been a loving guide.
But now the time has finally come, to leave your child by my side.


Just know that as you drive away and tears may start to flow,
I'll love your child as I would my own and help your little one to grow.


Know your child will be safe and loved as we work and learn each day."

"Ruby" continued

We have had a crazy busy last couple weeks and I want to share soon some of the things our family has been up to but first I need to share something that happened already a few weeks ago.

If you have been following my blog, you know that the name "Ruby" continues to come up, almost to the point that our family is a little "spooked" by it.

If you have been following my blog, you also know how passionate I am about drawing awareness to human trafficking. I hadn't blogged about human trafficking specifically for a while, so I sat down to write a blog post about provocative dress and how it feeds to human trafficking.

I thought I would start with searching the Internet for this topic. I started to google "provocative dress human trafficking" and then I wondered if I wasn't going to get a bunch of stuff I really didn't want to see, so I backed spaced over those words and typed,

                                    "modest dress human trafficking".

The very first link that displayed in my google search was for a website called...

                                   "Ruby Eyed Okapi".

Not kidding!

Ruby Eyed Okapi is a website designed by a group of women who share the same passion that I do and blog about things like modest dress and purity. They also write book, TV show and movie reviews.

That blog post I sat down to write? I never even started because these women do an excellent job putting the very thing I have been thinking into words.

Check out the website for yourself!  Show it to your teenage daughters!

One of my favorite posts is the bikini post.

I was visiting my sister a few weeks ago and brought my girls and niece to the mall one evening. While we were passing store fronts, I was horrified to see full size posters of young teenage girls dressed provocatively. I have seen this before but now I'm paying more attention.

One store caused my jaw to drop more than any other. It appeared to be a store just for teenage lingerie. The full sized banner at the front of the store was advertising a push up bra on a 15 year old girl with the words, "Check out (whatever the girl's name was here) and her new look!" The model was wearing nothing but underwear and a push up bra!

What kind of message our we sending to our teenagers?! I know the message it is sending to at least one teenage girl:

My teenage daughter recently shared with me a conversation among girls her age where one girl told the others that when she turns 18 her mom said she can get a breast enlargement. Then the girl went on to say that if she ever ended up pregnant after being raped, her mom said that she would get an abortion.

Do you think that she may increase her risks of getting raped with a breast enlargement? Do you think plastic surgery of this kind is contributing to our sex crazed culture? Do you think that our sex crazed culture creates more of a need for prostitution?

If so, then provocative dress does feed into human trafficking. Many women and boys are forced into prostitution because of the demand for sex. This demand is increasing at a rate that by the end of 2011 it will surpass the #1 illegal money making industry in the world, which is drugs.

With three daughters, I am convicted and I admit that I'm not completely innocent. I know first hand experience as a mom how hard it is to say "no" to the culture. But that is our job as a parent. We do have a say in what our children are wearing when they leave the house! Take a stand moms for what is right!! Don't let your girls leave the house not covered up!